Ok I feel like getting personal today.
To be quite honest, I love him so much. I love him so much that it bothers me when he is having fun without me. Some would call that jealousy, but that’s the way I love. He feels the same, but I think its worse for me. I end up accepting attention from the wrong people just to get him off my mind… then I feel bad coz I know its not doing me any good. I know love is the strangest feeling to ever exist, but our love is unlike any other love. If he doesn’t come back and give me all the loving I need right now, I will lose my mind… ok not really.
Love?
Is it really love or is it curiosity? Attachment to hope? How come you hurt me so much and not notice though? You’re pushing me away… And I’m letting you.
My brown skin
I have this…brown skin on my body. This brown skin seems to put me under a certain classification. Because of this brown skin, I am called black.
So I wonder, what kind of word/description is…Black?
I look in the Oxford advanced learners dictionary (Should be reputable):
Black - Colour.. Having the very darkest colour, like night or coal.
With no light.. Without light, completely dark.
People.. Belonging to a race of people who have dark skin. Black is the word most widely used and generally acepted in Britain. In the US the currently accepted term is African American.
okay… that makes some kind of sense.
But what is with all the negativity behind “BLACK”
The desctiption continues as follows…
Dirty….
Angry….
Depressing….
Evil….
I find this quite confusing. So I ask myself, who came up with the actual word? Why were all these negative things associated with it? And another thing… why is the supposed opposite of black, “White”, so pure and clean, so desirable. Why are lighter complexions found to be more attractive?
I remember when I was 9 and I was friends with a white girl. My friend and I were so close and barely noticed we were “different”. We knew we had different skin and hair and eyes and all, but it didn’t matter much. I even taught her a little isiZulu. Black elders used to look at us like we were doing something wrong. I was even told how cool and amazing I am, because I had a white friend o_O. These things started to seperate us… and we were never as close again.
So I ask myself why things have to be like this? Why do I have to be “Classified” anyways. Why do I have to feel awkward around white people? just because of this brown skin I have…
